Deep breath, hands in meditative thumb touching middle finger hand pose. Okay let me begin.
Downward Dog. Concept as I read, is way before Dog with a Blog.
Okay fine Good. Keep ideas ,concepts , pre-scripts, stories,all of it logged.
I watched the pilot, I had some initial thoughts.
I have acquired a forced behavior of making myself take time before Critique.
So, like, I watched the pilot again.
I can reinforce my initial thoughts. The pace hurts.It needs to have a different cadence.
I get that it is the inner dialogue of the dog. This dog is not hyper, so I can’t ask for
his thoughts and words to be. It will have his tempo.However, Now this may because of an indie situation, though the dialogue and tone albeit different but similar as the “The Slope” a web series.
It seems the same Park Slope;Pittsburgh trying to be Park Slope or The Slope and left of center hipsters? Not sure. Seems as it was trying to make a point about surroundings and relationship dynamic. Being indie cool.
With Downward Dog the pace and cadence of the dog speech almost moaning or like moan or the tone talking is grating Plus should the dog be moving his lips?. Not sure about that.It is similar to when Carrie Bradshaw and Cast talked down the lens to the TV audience in the early episodes, that style was changed. It is a style most used n documentaries.
In general with the characters and their dialogue and interaction there is too much negative space.
Maybe the dog doesn’t like staying home alone Full Stop. Treats are good too.
The pilot,from what I saw, is from the Web series as the show is based on. There needs to be more of a switch taking a show from web series to Network is different.
Things need to be more flushed out. The dialogue a little more complex. I am not sure what type of place Nan works at? I wasn’t sure, I thought she was going for a job interview?, or she is possibly a freelancer because she has pitched many ideas to Kevin. Confusion should not happen.
There needs to be more connection between everyone.
It needs to change from a web series to a show. The pilot seemed enough. The voice of martin is the creator . Is it a voice you want to tune in and listen to again? I was with people who wanted to change the channel.
I wanted to give it a fair chance and two as I stated previously. So , like, they walked out of the room.
I guess grating and painful are descriptive for the voice and the show.
I know it is difficult to write scripts. I know. When it is a web series it is pretty much right there though. You can hear and see it being acted and make changes before it goes to Network.
Will I watch next week? Yes and No. I like to listen to the show sometimes more than watching. For this I need to see if it is different than the web series .
To follow up with this post , Lets see what happens..Next week...